Mascots and Cheekbones

I love the Thunder. I never thought I'd enjoy basketball until the Thunder came along and brought so much spirit and excitement to OKC. It took me a few years after the Thunder came before I finally gave basketball a chance, but after my friends dragged me out to Toby Keith's I Love This Bar & Grill one night to watch a game, I caved. I realized basketball is actually way easier to understand than I thought it was and such an exciting, edge-of-your-seat kind of sport. While there are countless reasons to love the Thunder, I recently realized there are two things that make the franchise the powerful basketball powerhouse that it is: Rumble the Bison and Russell Westbrook's cheekbones. 

Rumble the Bison is by far the cutest mascot in the NBA. I light up every time I see him and I'm sure I'm not the only one. The Thunder would not be complete without Rumble. He is the glue that holds the team together and makes fans fall in love.

Those cheekbones. You cannot tell me those cheekbones weren't blessed upon Russell Westbrook by the heavens. They have got to have some almighty power held within them.

We Need To Talk About Baby Sloths

Baby sloth, just hangin'

I love sloths. I think my spirit animal might be a sloth. I'm not sure how the whole spirit animal thing works though, so let's just say, if I were an animal I would be a sloth. We have so much in common. Just like sloths, I am always sleepy, extremely slow-moving and have low energy, but I'm sweet and like to just chill and cuddle and stuff.

Me too, baby sloth. Me too.

Just like Kristen Bell (see video below), I too get overly emotional about cute things like sloths. If a sloth were to show up to my birthday, I would also go into an instant panic attack and cry. In fact, sometimes I get emotional just looking at pictures and watching videos of sloths or while reading this book:

Which is currently on my coffee table. I highly recommend it.

Anyway, I am sharing the cuteness and wonder of baby sloths here on my blog because, well, why not? Enjoy.

She's smiling!

That face! That belly! My heart!

Baby sloth in pajamas!

Just listen to the sounds they make and feel your heart grow three sizes: 



And here is Kristen Bell on Ellen crying about sloths:

All I Want For Christmas Is... This Stuff

My Christmas wishlist seems like a weird thing to blog about, but as I was looking at my list today, I realized how strange and random the things I want for Christmas are. Yet I feel they represent me so well. To most, this wishlist may seem odd, but to anyone who knows me, this list should be completely unsurprising.

Toaster Grilled Cheese Bags

Marnie the Dog: I'm a Book

Marnie the Dog mug

3D puzzle of the Empire State Building

Skirt covered in dogs wearing Christmas sweaters

Being Single: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Over the course of my 23 years of living, I have been single for...all of them. It's not that I haven't dated, it's just that none of my flings ever blossomed into relationships. Having never been in a relationship, I don't exactly know what I'm missing. This makes being single relatively easy. In fact, sometimes I worry that I won't like being in a relationship because I'm so used to my comfortable single life. Though the single life certainly has its ups and downs. Sometimes I feel incredibly thankful that I'm unattached, sometimes I get a little lonely, and sometimes I just get frustrated, wondering how the hell I'm still single.

The Good:

Being single is comfortable. I never have to worry about how dirty or messy my apartment is because I have no one coming over to impress. I can live in filth without embarrassment. It's also nice to be able to binge watch Netflix as I please and not have to wait for anyone before I can watch the next episode. And sleeping alone in my queen sized bed? Yes, please, thank you. I sleep like a starfish. There wouldn't be room for another person in there unless they wanted an arm across their face and a leg kicking them in the crotch. Oh, and leg shaving. I cannot even begin to describe how nice it is to not have to worry about keeping those things smooth. I can just let them grow and grow without a care in the world. Not to mention, winter is here and I need my fur coat.

The Bad:

It really sucks not having man hands around when I need a jar opened. I have small hands. It's difficult to get a good grip on those things, especially pickle jars. Those things are huge. It's also unfortunate when I have a bug situation in my apartment, like spiders or wasps (yeah, wasps). It'd be nice to have a guy around to pretend he's not afraid of the crawling or flying demons and kill them or, preferably, catch and release them for me. Also, I think my family has finally started to give up on me ever finding a mate. This is evident through birthday gifts I have received. One year, my mom got me a boyfriend pillow (yeah, those exist) while my grandma got me a Ryan Gosling coloring book and a box of crayons. The next year, my mom got me a life-sized cardboard cutout of Dean Winchester from Supernatural. If those aren't pity-the-poor-single-girl gifts, then I don't know what are.

The Ugly:

Sometimes, when I'm feeling really lonely, I just sit and think:

And you know what really sets off the loneliness? HGTV. I watch a lot of HGTV. Which leads to a lot of fantasizing about what I want my future home to be like and what house hunting with my future husband will be like. I see all of these happy (and not-so-happy) couples on shows like House Hunters and Property Brothers and I think, "oh my god, what if I never find that? How am I going to afford to purchase and renovate a home on my own? And who will be there to make all of the decisions for me?! What if that BuzzFeed quiz was right and I really am destined to be a third wheel forever?!" Thoughts like these lead to a downward spiral of binge eating and loneliness and I find myself ugly crying into a glass of wine and box of Cheez-Its while watching Meg Ryan movies.

But like I said, being single isn't so bad. I just avoid watching HGTV when my emotional hormones are out of whack and I call my landlord whenever I have a wasp break in. Who knows? Maybe someday my Prince Charming will come (okay, just threw up in my mouth typing that), but for now I am perfectly content with the rollercoaster ride that is the single life.

The 11 Most Perplexing Dating Habits of Millennials

Dating and relationships seem to be all-consuming for the millennial generation. Whether single or attached, millennials spend an excessive amount of time thinking about relationships, dating, and all other related topics. So if we spend so much time thinking and talking about dating, then why are we so bad at it? It's no wonder so many millennials seem dissatisfied with their love lives. I mean, some of the dating habits millennials have started are truly perplexing.

1. Tinder. 

How did Tinder become so mainstream? People used to be embarrassed about their use of Tinder and feared having someone they know see them on the app. Now people talk about Tinder in normal, daily conversation. What I especially don't understand is, why do girls use Tinder hoping to find a boyfriend? And why do guys who are in committed relationships continue to use Tinder? And why haven't people gotten bored of it yet?

2. Netflix and chill.

Why is this a thing? Why have we millennials turned "Netflix and chill" into a euphemism for hooking up? When I say, "Let's watch Netflix and chill," I literally mean, "Let's binge watch Bob's Burgers, fully clothed, while eating nachos."

3. Avoiding commitment.



Though millennials seem to be preoccupied with the idea of relationships, when it comes to taking the plunge and actually being with someone, they avoid it with all their might. Why? Because yikes, they might feel things then get dumped. Tragic.

4. Avoiding emotions.



Why do people use the phrase "catch feelings" like emotions are some sort of disease? Like, I get it. Feeling things is scary. Feeling vulnerable is scary. It's also the only way to truly connect with another person. How can people expect to ever be in a happy, committed relationship if they're always avoiding them, saying, "I don't want to catch feelings." Unless by "feelings" you actually mean herpes, then by all means, get out there and let yourself feel things.

5. The "talking" phase.



This is the most exciting, anxiety-inducing, confusing phase of any relationship. This is the phase when you know you like one another, you've been spending a significant amount of time together, but you're not together. You tell your friends, "We're talking," but what the hell does "talking" even mean? You spend almost every second wondering: Are we, like, together? Do they even want this to go any further? Are we exclusive? Are they seeing anyone else? How do they really feel about me? Yet asking any of the millions of questions running through your head would surely rush this blossoming relationship to its end before it begins.

6. Ghosting.



Firstly, why do people act like "ghosting" is a new thing? I've seen actual headlines recently that have read, "Ghosting: The new way of ending a relationship?" Ghosting is certainly not new. We've just finally come up with a word for suddenly ceasing communication with a person one is dating without warning or explanation. Secondly, why is ghosting so common?  It's rude, cowardly and immature. It's understandable if you've only been on a couple of dates, but if you've been seeing this person for, say, a month or so, have met their friends, their parents, talked about future plans, etc., "ghosting" is not an acceptable way to end it.

7. Texting as the main form of communication.



How did texting become the main way people communicate today? What ever happened to a simple phone call? Or having conversations in person? When it comes to dating, texting just makes it even more confusing and nerve-racking. It's near impossible to convey emotion through text, even with the help of emoticons. Things that are said through text get misconstrued all the time. Not to mention, waiting for a reply can drive a person stir crazy, when it would have been far quicker and easier to make a phone call. Also, what's up with the whole texting each other all day every day thing? Starts with a "good morning" text and goes all day until the "goodnight" text. What's left to talk about in person then? And what can you possibly be talking about all day that is so damn interesting?

8. Sending unsolicited photos of naughty bits.



I guess this one is mostly guys who do it and mostly women who are bothered by it, but seriously ew omg gross WHY?! What could possibly be going through one's head when sending these? "I bet she'll really like this!" NO! I don't like it! I did not ask for this! Nobody asks for this! Ladies do not enjoy receiving these. The only pleasure we get from them is telling our friends then laughing at you.

9. Side chicks.



Apparently "side chicks" are like a trend now. How far downhill has our society gone to have made side chicks a thing? Not only a thing, but an acceptable thing? The worst part is, there are girls who know they are the side chick and are perfectly fine with it, even proud of it. Maybe they hope they'll eventually become the "main chick" and feel a sense of accomplishment for being able to "steal a man," but do they really think he's not going to find a replacement for their old position? Girl, please.

10. Public displays of affection.



Contrary to what you may believe, no one actually wants to see your affection for one another displayed in public. Call me bitter, but your happiness grosses me out. So please, keep the face sucking and hiney squeezing where it belongs, in private.

11. Cuffing season.



For those who are unfamiliar with the term, cuffing season refers to the chillier months of fall and winter when people are more likely to start seeking someone to "cuff" into a relationship. When cuffing season ends, however, Facebook news feeds are suddenly flooded with relationship statuses being switched to "single." People break free of their cuffs for a summer filled with freedom and flirtation. Do I even need to share my thoughts on why this is ridiculous?