Mascots and Cheekbones

I love the Thunder. I never thought I'd enjoy basketball until the Thunder came along and brought so much spirit and excitement to OKC. It took me a few years after the Thunder came before I finally gave basketball a chance, but after my friends dragged me out to Toby Keith's I Love This Bar & Grill one night to watch a game, I caved. I realized basketball is actually way easier to understand than I thought it was and such an exciting, edge-of-your-seat kind of sport. While there are countless reasons to love the Thunder, I recently realized there are two things that make the franchise the powerful basketball powerhouse that it is: Rumble the Bison and Russell Westbrook's cheekbones. 

Rumble the Bison is by far the cutest mascot in the NBA. I light up every time I see him and I'm sure I'm not the only one. The Thunder would not be complete without Rumble. He is the glue that holds the team together and makes fans fall in love.

Those cheekbones. You cannot tell me those cheekbones weren't blessed upon Russell Westbrook by the heavens. They have got to have some almighty power held within them.

We Need To Talk About Baby Sloths

Baby sloth, just hangin'

I love sloths. I think my spirit animal might be a sloth. I'm not sure how the whole spirit animal thing works though, so let's just say, if I were an animal I would be a sloth. We have so much in common. Just like sloths, I am always sleepy, extremely slow-moving and have low energy, but I'm sweet and like to just chill and cuddle and stuff.

Me too, baby sloth. Me too.

Just like Kristen Bell (see video below), I too get overly emotional about cute things like sloths. If a sloth were to show up to my birthday, I would also go into an instant panic attack and cry. In fact, sometimes I get emotional just looking at pictures and watching videos of sloths or while reading this book:

Which is currently on my coffee table. I highly recommend it.

Anyway, I am sharing the cuteness and wonder of baby sloths here on my blog because, well, why not? Enjoy.

She's smiling!

That face! That belly! My heart!

Baby sloth in pajamas!

Just listen to the sounds they make and feel your heart grow three sizes: 



And here is Kristen Bell on Ellen crying about sloths:

All I Want For Christmas Is... This Stuff

My Christmas wishlist seems like a weird thing to blog about, but as I was looking at my list today, I realized how strange and random the things I want for Christmas are. Yet I feel they represent me so well. To most, this wishlist may seem odd, but to anyone who knows me, this list should be completely unsurprising.

Toaster Grilled Cheese Bags

Marnie the Dog: I'm a Book

Marnie the Dog mug

3D puzzle of the Empire State Building

Skirt covered in dogs wearing Christmas sweaters

Being Single: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Over the course of my 23 years of living, I have been single for...all of them. It's not that I haven't dated, it's just that none of my flings ever blossomed into relationships. Having never been in a relationship, I don't exactly know what I'm missing. This makes being single relatively easy. In fact, sometimes I worry that I won't like being in a relationship because I'm so used to my comfortable single life. Though the single life certainly has its ups and downs. Sometimes I feel incredibly thankful that I'm unattached, sometimes I get a little lonely, and sometimes I just get frustrated, wondering how the hell I'm still single.

The Good:

Being single is comfortable. I never have to worry about how dirty or messy my apartment is because I have no one coming over to impress. I can live in filth without embarrassment. It's also nice to be able to binge watch Netflix as I please and not have to wait for anyone before I can watch the next episode. And sleeping alone in my queen sized bed? Yes, please, thank you. I sleep like a starfish. There wouldn't be room for another person in there unless they wanted an arm across their face and a leg kicking them in the crotch. Oh, and leg shaving. I cannot even begin to describe how nice it is to not have to worry about keeping those things smooth. I can just let them grow and grow without a care in the world. Not to mention, winter is here and I need my fur coat.

The Bad:

It really sucks not having man hands around when I need a jar opened. I have small hands. It's difficult to get a good grip on those things, especially pickle jars. Those things are huge. It's also unfortunate when I have a bug situation in my apartment, like spiders or wasps (yeah, wasps). It'd be nice to have a guy around to pretend he's not afraid of the crawling or flying demons and kill them or, preferably, catch and release them for me. Also, I think my family has finally started to give up on me ever finding a mate. This is evident through birthday gifts I have received. One year, my mom got me a boyfriend pillow (yeah, those exist) while my grandma got me a Ryan Gosling coloring book and a box of crayons. The next year, my mom got me a life-sized cardboard cutout of Dean Winchester from Supernatural. If those aren't pity-the-poor-single-girl gifts, then I don't know what are.

The Ugly:

Sometimes, when I'm feeling really lonely, I just sit and think:

And you know what really sets off the loneliness? HGTV. I watch a lot of HGTV. Which leads to a lot of fantasizing about what I want my future home to be like and what house hunting with my future husband will be like. I see all of these happy (and not-so-happy) couples on shows like House Hunters and Property Brothers and I think, "oh my god, what if I never find that? How am I going to afford to purchase and renovate a home on my own? And who will be there to make all of the decisions for me?! What if that BuzzFeed quiz was right and I really am destined to be a third wheel forever?!" Thoughts like these lead to a downward spiral of binge eating and loneliness and I find myself ugly crying into a glass of wine and box of Cheez-Its while watching Meg Ryan movies.

But like I said, being single isn't so bad. I just avoid watching HGTV when my emotional hormones are out of whack and I call my landlord whenever I have a wasp break in. Who knows? Maybe someday my Prince Charming will come (okay, just threw up in my mouth typing that), but for now I am perfectly content with the rollercoaster ride that is the single life.

The 11 Most Perplexing Dating Habits of Millennials

Dating and relationships seem to be all-consuming for the millennial generation. Whether single or attached, millennials spend an excessive amount of time thinking about relationships, dating, and all other related topics. So if we spend so much time thinking and talking about dating, then why are we so bad at it? It's no wonder so many millennials seem dissatisfied with their love lives. I mean, some of the dating habits millennials have started are truly perplexing.

1. Tinder. 

How did Tinder become so mainstream? People used to be embarrassed about their use of Tinder and feared having someone they know see them on the app. Now people talk about Tinder in normal, daily conversation. What I especially don't understand is, why do girls use Tinder hoping to find a boyfriend? And why do guys who are in committed relationships continue to use Tinder? And why haven't people gotten bored of it yet?

2. Netflix and chill.

Why is this a thing? Why have we millennials turned "Netflix and chill" into a euphemism for hooking up? When I say, "Let's watch Netflix and chill," I literally mean, "Let's binge watch Bob's Burgers, fully clothed, while eating nachos."

3. Avoiding commitment.



Though millennials seem to be preoccupied with the idea of relationships, when it comes to taking the plunge and actually being with someone, they avoid it with all their might. Why? Because yikes, they might feel things then get dumped. Tragic.

4. Avoiding emotions.



Why do people use the phrase "catch feelings" like emotions are some sort of disease? Like, I get it. Feeling things is scary. Feeling vulnerable is scary. It's also the only way to truly connect with another person. How can people expect to ever be in a happy, committed relationship if they're always avoiding them, saying, "I don't want to catch feelings." Unless by "feelings" you actually mean herpes, then by all means, get out there and let yourself feel things.

5. The "talking" phase.



This is the most exciting, anxiety-inducing, confusing phase of any relationship. This is the phase when you know you like one another, you've been spending a significant amount of time together, but you're not together. You tell your friends, "We're talking," but what the hell does "talking" even mean? You spend almost every second wondering: Are we, like, together? Do they even want this to go any further? Are we exclusive? Are they seeing anyone else? How do they really feel about me? Yet asking any of the millions of questions running through your head would surely rush this blossoming relationship to its end before it begins.

6. Ghosting.



Firstly, why do people act like "ghosting" is a new thing? I've seen actual headlines recently that have read, "Ghosting: The new way of ending a relationship?" Ghosting is certainly not new. We've just finally come up with a word for suddenly ceasing communication with a person one is dating without warning or explanation. Secondly, why is ghosting so common?  It's rude, cowardly and immature. It's understandable if you've only been on a couple of dates, but if you've been seeing this person for, say, a month or so, have met their friends, their parents, talked about future plans, etc., "ghosting" is not an acceptable way to end it.

7. Texting as the main form of communication.



How did texting become the main way people communicate today? What ever happened to a simple phone call? Or having conversations in person? When it comes to dating, texting just makes it even more confusing and nerve-racking. It's near impossible to convey emotion through text, even with the help of emoticons. Things that are said through text get misconstrued all the time. Not to mention, waiting for a reply can drive a person stir crazy, when it would have been far quicker and easier to make a phone call. Also, what's up with the whole texting each other all day every day thing? Starts with a "good morning" text and goes all day until the "goodnight" text. What's left to talk about in person then? And what can you possibly be talking about all day that is so damn interesting?

8. Sending unsolicited photos of naughty bits.



I guess this one is mostly guys who do it and mostly women who are bothered by it, but seriously ew omg gross WHY?! What could possibly be going through one's head when sending these? "I bet she'll really like this!" NO! I don't like it! I did not ask for this! Nobody asks for this! Ladies do not enjoy receiving these. The only pleasure we get from them is telling our friends then laughing at you.

9. Side chicks.



Apparently "side chicks" are like a trend now. How far downhill has our society gone to have made side chicks a thing? Not only a thing, but an acceptable thing? The worst part is, there are girls who know they are the side chick and are perfectly fine with it, even proud of it. Maybe they hope they'll eventually become the "main chick" and feel a sense of accomplishment for being able to "steal a man," but do they really think he's not going to find a replacement for their old position? Girl, please.

10. Public displays of affection.



Contrary to what you may believe, no one actually wants to see your affection for one another displayed in public. Call me bitter, but your happiness grosses me out. So please, keep the face sucking and hiney squeezing where it belongs, in private.

11. Cuffing season.



For those who are unfamiliar with the term, cuffing season refers to the chillier months of fall and winter when people are more likely to start seeking someone to "cuff" into a relationship. When cuffing season ends, however, Facebook news feeds are suddenly flooded with relationship statuses being switched to "single." People break free of their cuffs for a summer filled with freedom and flirtation. Do I even need to share my thoughts on why this is ridiculous?

Thanksgiving Rules of Conversation

Being a socially anxious introvert, I tend not to enjoy small talk. Whether it is with a stranger or someone I know, small talk makes me terribly uncomfortable and anxious to escape. Social gatherings, such as those during the holidays, seem to be full of small talk. Rarely does one hear a conversation that is deep or meaningful. Instead, conversation is simply left on the surface, with the same few topics being discussed around the room.

When my dad and stepmom moved back to Texas a couple of years ago, after five years of living overseas in Indonesia and Malaysia, they decided to start hosting Thanksgiving at their house. Prior to this, most of my Thanksgivings had been fairly small, spent with only close family members on either my mom's side or my dad's side. However, my stepmom has a larger family than either my dad or my mom have. My dad and stepmom also both have quite a few friends in their area who don't have family nearby to spend Thanksgiving with, so they spend it with us. This makes for a very large Thanksgiving celebration. Last year, their second year hosting Thanksgiving, there were 30+ people crammed into the house. As the daughter of the host, that meant having the same conversation with every person in the room. As soon as the people came pouring in, I knew it was time to brace myself, smile, and prepare my lines.

See, I have come to realize that given my age, gender, and whatever prior knowledge a person has of me, there are four main topics that people will typically ask me about first, before either ending the conversation or bravely attempting to continue by engaging me on a different subject.

School: "You're out of school now, right?" "No? When do you graduate?" "You still go to OU?" "What is UCO?" "What's your major?" "What is professional media?" "What do you want to do with that?" "What classes are you taking?" 
Yes, that's right. I transferred from a prestigious university to a school you've never heard of only to major in something you've also never heard of and it's taking me five and a half years to complete my first college degree. Thank you for not making me feel judged in this lovely start to our conversation.

My future: "So what are your plans for after graduation?" "Do you think you'll want to stay in Oklahoma City or move somewhere else?" "Do you think you'll want to look for jobs within your field or start somewhere else?" "WHAT IS YOUR FIVE YEAR PLAN, KRISTIN?!"
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I DON'T KNOW.

My current job situation: "Do you work anywhere now?" "What do you do there?" "Do you like it?" "What do/don't you like about it?" "How many hours do you work?" "Do you think you'll stay there after you graduate?"
You know, this is beginning to feel a bit like an interrogation. Did my dad put you up to this?

My love life: "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" "Are you seeing anyone?" "Are there any guys that you like?" "When are you going to settle down? Get married? Make babies?" "Do you just want to be single forever?"
Nope. Your guess is as good as mine. Nope. Uh, I don't know, Ryan Gosling? Probably never. If I tell you I'm a lesbian, will you stop talking?

There you have it, folks. The four topics to probably avoid asking your twenty-something female relatives about this Thanksgiving. Just shut up and eat.

Adulting Is Hard

After twenty three years of living, I am finally realizing that maybe I am just not cut out for adulthood. I moved out of my mom's house about two and a half years ago and have been living alone in my apartment ever since. How have I survived this long? I do not know. For a long time, probably the first two years, I basically lived off of microwave meals. Fairly recently, I realized if I want to be a healthy, functioning adult, I might want to start cooking and eating fresh foods because that's what adults do, right? I also decided to start trying to put effort into my appearance daily because when I get into the real world and have a big girl job, I assume I will be expected to look presentable and professional every day. Basically, my panic about my upcoming graduation and entrance into the "real world" has made me realize that I better learn how to "adult" and fast. But being an adult is turning out to be far more difficult than I had anticipated and I am quickly learning that maybe adulting just isn't for me.

I can't use my stove or oven without setting off the smoke detector.

The first time it happened, I had thought I'd try to be cute and cook dinner for a boy I liked. As I was making the sauce for our pasta, I began to notice the milk seemed to be absorbing too fast and the sauce wasn't very...saucy. Suddenly, the smoke alarm started blaring and he had to turn it off for me. I was mortified. I literally felt like Cher in Clueless when she attempted to bake for Christian. Tried to show a guy my domestic side and I almost started a fire. Real cute. Unfortunately it was not just a one time thing and I have set it off many times since, so now I keep my step ladder next to the smoke detector and take the battery out when I cook. It's a perfectly safe solution.

I am perpetually late.

I was four days late coming out of my mother and I have been late to everything ever since. I guess it all comes down to my terrible time management, but I just can't be on time. Even on the rare occasions when I am set to be on time, something happens that makes me late. Whether it be a train or an oil spill on the highway, there will always be something to ruin the pride I feel when I leave on time. If I'm being honest though, I almost never leave on time. My chronic lateness is something the people who know me well have been forced to accept. I'm the friend that has to be told that plans start at 7:30 when they really start at 8:00.

Ugh, dishes.

I love the feeling of having an empty dishwasher and being able to just put my dishes in as I use them. However, this is most often not the case. I don't know what it is about unloading the dishwasher that makes me want to just let my dirty dishes pile up on the counter instead of simply putting the clean dishes away to make room for dirty ones. And dishes that are hand wash only? Forget about it. I figure that's what double-sided sinks are for. One side is meant to be filled with hand wash only dishes that will probably never be washed.

Really, it's not just the dishes. Cleaning in general is not my thing.

My apartment is a disaster area about 97% of the time. Every once in a while, around every few months or so, I take the time to seriously clean my apartment. This is usually brought on by plans to have guests over, which is pretty rare. Most of the time, I'm too embarrassed to allow anyone to see the mess I live in. Even after my deep cleaning episodes, I can only manage to keep the place clean and picked up for about a week before I let it all crumble down again. It's not the actual cleaning that I mind so much though. I don't mind sweeping, scrubbing, mopping, dusting, etc. My problem with cleaning is the picking up that must be done before I can actually clean. My stuff always somehow manages to stay strung out despite my attempts to organize.

The majority of my money goes to Sephora.

Budgeting and finances are something I know absolutely nothing about. I even took a personal finance class a few semesters ago thinking it would be helpful for my future. I barely scraped by with a C and learned nothing. I don't even know why I spend so much money at Sephora. It's not like I wear that much makeup. Yet somehow I always manage to walk in planning to buy one thing and leave with a bag full of new products. You would think the shame I feel when I renew my VIB status would teach me a lesson, but it does not. Who needs money for groceries/rent/bills anyway?

I have to either google or ask my mom how to do just about everything.

I literally have to google how to cook an egg every time I cook or boil an egg. Last week, I had to ask my mom how to put air in my tires. The amount of things my mom still has to teach me, help me with, or even do for me is astonishing considering I'm a full grown adult and should know how to take of myself by now.